Friday, May 30, 2008

Who is That Bride: Update

My name is Jenna and I am in the process of planning a wedding without an engagement ring on my finger. People have labeled me as the one who everyone thinks is crazy, dragging her boyfriend into something he doesn't want. Except I am not THAT bride. Believe it or not, That Groom wants to marry me as much as I want to marry him. So we are doing things our own way. I am planning the wedding now, because I need the time, and he is proposing later, because he also needs the time. Compromises such as this are what make our relationship work.

We are an LDS couple (Mormon) and I from Washington state while he hails from Poland. He is a gorgeous European and I love listening for the hint of an accent he lets slip through when he isn't paying close enough attention. The way he says "girlfriend" is just adorable. After we get married we will be living in Texas for about 2 years and then who knows what will happen after that. Eventually we will end up in Poland. We've been together for almost a year now, and although we aren't engaged yet we have set a date in October because I don't want to deal with the unavailability of all my favorite vendors if I wait to start planning after he proposes later in the Summer.

We lived in the same building 2 years ago, and after we started dating last May we were only able to spend 2 short months together before he moved down to Dallas and I stayed in Utah to keep going to school. I am living in Dallas now, and even though we only get to see each other on the weekends due to his work traveling schedule, it's so much better than what we did for the past year!

That Groom is as far removed from the planning process as a groom can possibly be, and he and I are both okay with that. His ambivalence combined with my opinionated nature pair up very nicely together. I helped buy my own ring (giving my input, not my money) and pretty much only requiring him to propose, show up the day of and bring a few friends and family along.

My parents are funding this entire affair so they are highly involved with the planning process and their opinions mean a lot to me. They are even willing to do things a little differently (especially compared to the weddings that are usually planned by brides in my hometown).

We have a tentative date set for October 11th. We will be sealed (an LDS religious blessing ceremony) for eternity in the LDS temple in Bellevue, Washington. We will emerge from the temple to take those awful group pictures that I can't find a way to eliminate. That Groom and I will then head off with our photographer to spend a few hours alone together taking bridals. A ceremony is scheduled for around 4:30, with appetizer hour, and a dinner to follow.

So that is a little bit about me, my situation, and my wedding vision. Please feel free to introduce yourself, and if you EVER want to discuss something wedding related leave a comment and I will be sure to reply.

15 comments:

Guilty Secret said...

Thanks for the update :)

Kelly said...

I just wanted to say thanks for posting that. I too am planning a wedding without the ring on my finger. He has it, but is waiting for his version of the "right time." I am not That Bride either, but people definitely try to make you feel crazy for doing things in such a way. So thank you .. thank you for letting me know I am not alone :)

Dana said...

Great. Do things your way and your time since it is your wedding. Thanks for the update.

Kate said...

I love this idea! I cannot WAIT to hear about the proposal when it happens. :)

He sounds wonderful and well, we already know YOU are wonderful - so this is a match made in heaven.

Glad to have you back in the States (even though reading about your Euro adventures was delish) and I'm looking forward to seeing your wedding plans take shape.

Big Shot said...

That's a great intro, i should do something like that on my blog...one of these days...

Jenna said...

kelly-Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone either. It sounds like we are in the exact same situation. The ring has been sitting on his desk for weeks. It recently disappeared though, which I think is a good sign :)

kate-It does build up the anticipation for the proposal a little more doesn't it? Unfortunately That Groom feels like it really just builds up expectations. I think that is why he is putting it off.

Big shot-I do it partly for myself too. Helps me keep track of where I am going.

Jennifer said...

Jenna, I didn't have a ring for 8 months of our engagement. A ring doesn't make you less engaged or less commited. I wont lie: I LOVE having my ring, but nothing has changed since I got it. We are still together commited as ever planning a wedding! :)

ed and kelli said...

hey jenna.. i don't know if you remember me from freshman year or not.. i lived in shipp 115.. anyway, i too, planned my wedding without a ring.. i got the dress and dates in february and he didn't propose until the very end of april! it was nice and less stressful in my opinion. I loved having a short engagement too. we were married a little over a month after the engagement. I really believe it's a good way to do it. the plans were pretty much all set and made and we could enjoy the engagement stress free! and the wedding day turned out perfect!

Jenna said...

jennifer-wow, wedding twins and apparently engagement twins as well.

kelli-If you had dark long hair than I think I remember you. I tried to follow you back to your blog but you have it locked down (which I totally understand) Thanks for commenting, it's so nice hearing that there are so many other girls in my shoes.

Riley said...

Hey there!
Just wanted to say hello - I saw your comments on EAD and thought I'd come check you out!
Looks like everything is coming along for you! I LOVE your dress - it is so much prettier on you than the model!
By the way - I also live in Dallas area (work in downtown, used to live there, now live in Arlington) so if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

ksenija said...

WOW! that is awesome... i love your blog! i will be very excited for you when he pops the question... you both have great communication which is SO important! best of luck with all your wedding planning ventures. :D

CaliOC said...

Jenna -- We started talking about marriage in December 2006, we started looking at rings in August 2007, by October 2007 I had booked a venue and made appointments to meet photographers and dj's, my fh proposed in November. It was strange trying to explain why I was booking things without a ring on my finger, but thankfully I didn't have to do it for long. Also, I like that you are having a ceremony and reception after getting sealed. So many of my friends that had temple marriages did not do that, and I felt left out as I have not had a temple recommend since I was 17 -- I stopped going when I started college and haven't gone back. Thank you for including everyone!

Jenna said...

ksenija-Thanks for commenting! You are definitely one of my favorite photogs, I need to make a better effort of letting you know that I am reading!
calioc-I'm sorry that you felt left out before, I hope that my non-member friends and family will feel included because of what we are doing. While still knowing what I consider to be the most important part of the whole process.

Jessica Ralph said...

Your posts are comical. Love the few that I have read. Lots of happiness to you! And it's awesome that you are doing things the non-traditional way. Why follow someone else's same path?!?

Jennifer said...

This was a fun blog to stumble upon. I got my "engagement" ring over a year after my wedding :) I married a Ukrainian in Ukraine and they just don't do engagement rings there. We wear our wedding rings on our other hand. . but I wanted diamonds for my ring hand and now I have them :) Congrats on your marriage!